Real Life... {Pintrest}

I am not a good cook. At All. Like, really bad. So Pintrest has been a new fun way for me to try and tackle my cooking skills. 

Which brings me to the new series I am going to be bringing to you every week! I am going to be trying out one of the pins on my board (are you following me on PINTREST yet?) and I will take pictures and talk my whole way through it. I will let you know how it tastes, how it smelt, and if I failed or not. LOL! {Oh it happens, missed the first fail?? Check It Out} 

So get ready for a whole bunch of laughs {because, me cooking, is hysterical on its own, without unexpected disasters}

 

Pintrest Adventure!

I am in love with pintrest, (who isnt right?) So while I was pinning, I found something yummy that Brax and I could do together. 5 Minute Waffle Browies! 5 minutes, for brownies, in my waffle maker??? Score! 

So, we make the batter (totally from a box, thanks BC) 

Got the Waffle Maker Preped!

Insert boxed Brownie Batter

Now, this is where it gets tricky... According to the pin, it says, Heat the iron to the lowest setting, and 5 minutes, Tahdah... Here is what I got 5 minutes in...

A Big Gooey Mess. 

So I adjusted my setting to medium, and tried again. Again... FAIL. A little better, but it would have been more like a 20 minute brownie. Finally, I turned it all the way up, and 

Tahdah!

 I GOT ONE! (dont mind that it was crunchy, and totally inedible) 

So I have a bag full of brownie crumbles... and lets pretend that some of them went with my granola and yogurt this morning... I would say, It would be delicious, fail and all!

Boredom?

So a few weeks ago, I had a man ask me if I got bored being a stay at home mom. {wait, what?}

 I took a moment to collect my thoughts before answering. How on earth could I ever possibly get bored? It is not like I sit around all day in fuzzy slippers and watch soap operas, {although my MIL does record General Hospital for me, so when I go to her house I can indulge}

I spend my days 

cooking, 

cleaning, 

constantly picking up Bo from falling down,

giving out cuddles and kisses to boo-boos,

wiping butts and buggers,

resolving fights,

doing laundry,

giving baths, 

working on school skills with Brax,

reading books to both kiddos,

paying bills,

going grocery shopping,

trying to make time during naps to run on the elliptical,

squeezing in time to write on here,

update the Shop,

cut coupons {Yup, it takes some time to organize that disaster!}

if I'm lucky I get to shower. 

So I thought, as all these things were running through my head and my kids were trying to jump out of the grocery cart, about the answer I would give, this very sweet, and very clueless man. "I wouldn't say I get bored, I would say it's very challenging." He smiled and apparently that was a good enough answer. 

Oh to be a man, just for a day! ;)

Postpartum Struggle

 I have had a very rocky road with  postpartum after having my second son Boden. I want to share my story with all of you, in the hopes, that someone out there wont feel so alone.  
After I had my little Bo, I started realizing that something wasn't right. I thought "oh, I'm just tired, it'll go away once i get some sleep." "oh its just tough having two babies, it'll go away once I get in a routine." "oh, its just the baby blues, it'll go away in a few weeks on its own." Then one day, {when Bo was 6 1/2 months old} my husband finally broke down, and told me that he was worried about me. At first, my reaction was, deny, deny, deny. But I finally broke down and realized, I needed help. My sister-in-law noticed it, my mother-in-law saw it too, but I was so temperamental everyone was afraid to say something.  I truly don't think I would have ever said anything, if it wasn't for my husband. I was quick to lose my patience with hubby (which is never fair!)  I was always depressed. I had these self-imposed ideas of what a stay at home mom should do, and would become overly critical of  myself when I couldn't live up to my own expectations. (Hubby was nothing but supportive, and never expected anything but for me to care for the kiddos.) I cried, I was always tired, I became a hermit, if you looked at me the wrong way I would lose it. 
So, after trying to talk it out with my family, and openly admitting that I knew I had a bigger issue that I couldn't deal with on my own, I finally took the right step, and called my Dr. It was so terribly embarrassing for me to say the words, "I have  postpartum depression" that I started crying on the phone with the appointment maker. {whom I went to high school with, to make it even more embarrassing.} When I went in for my appointment, all my Dr. did was ask how I was, and I started bawling. I didn't have thoughts of hurting my children, but I felt like the biggest failure. He hugged me, and said that I wasn't a bad mom. {which doesn't make a bit of difference when you fail to live up to your own standards.} I was opposed to taking any medication, because I was nursing. But at this point I didn't know what else to do. Then my Dr. said something that really hit home. He said that if I wasn't taking the best care of myself, I would never be able to give 100% to my babies, and they deserve it. So,  he gave me a super low dose, and assured me that it wouldn't hurt my baby. That made me feel like an even bigger failure. 
My husband has been the hugest help and support. Once I was finally able to admit what was wrong, my life took a complete 180. My relationship with my husband, is better than it had ever been. My attitude towards being a stay at home mom has changed. {although I still have days where I feel like I need to be super mom, and have a spotless house, crafts done, dinner made, desert baking and be 115 lbs.} My babies have a happier, healthier mama, and that right there is the most important thing in the world.
I thank God everyday that my husband finally said something to me. It changed my life. I always thought, it wouldn't happen to me, and I felt so bad for the moms that had to go through postpartum depression.  IT is true that you never fully understand something until it happens to you.
The one thing I learned, is to ask for help. If you ever feel like you cant do it, or you become so overwhelmed your life becomes unlivable, ask for help. {from your significant other, from God, from your Dr., from a stranger in a chat room.} Having support is the key to getting through all of this. For me it was a very lonely and embarrassing thing to go though as a mother, but I feel like a stronger person for it. I think the most important thing is to not feel ashamed, and to ask for help as soon as you feel like its all too much, I waited way too long, and only hurt myself. 

(Boden and Braxton, my angels)

Thank you for letting me share my story with you all today. :) 

Settling Back in, Just in Time for Chaos!

I finally  have my little monster back! (He was visiting his daddy for the last 13 days!) He had a great time, and Bo got his very first real one on one time with mama. It was nice to be able to focus solely on him, and read with him, and take showers during the day, go to lunch with my mom, and have quiet time at nap time! (I horribly missed Brax every single day, dont get me wrong here!)
So yesterday was preschool, and my errand running. woohoo This morning, I Bo woke me up at 630, which is better than the 540 its been the last few days! We got up, had a mini snuggle sesh, and I decided to make muffins for Brax for breakfast. I was feeling ammmazing. (I have struggled for a very very long time to be that "together" mom) Monster wakes up, comes and gives me cuddles, Bo is eating breakfast, and I tell Brax about the muffins.... just as the oven beeps, he gets way excited. As I go to get them out, they look awfully brown on top, YUP. I.BURNT.THE.MUFFINS. So, there goes my "together" day. LOL. I was feeling brave enough to take both of the kids to the grocery store with me, but not so much anymore. Perhaps I'll see what my mom is doing!
Hope you guys are all having a beautiful Wednesday!