January 14, 2013

Breaking It Down!

I am a mom. Sometimes it's mommy, mama, mooooooooom, and occasionally they throw out Fallon. That's the first, and most important hat I wear. I took on the responsibility the day I found out I was growing a little bean in my tummy. That day I made the decision to become the mom that raises her little ones to be polite, respectful,and responsible human beings. I also made the decision to instill these traits in them from the start. I want my children to be able to grow up, and be good, up standing citizens of our town, state and country. I hope that someday, when they look back at their childhood, they know that mommy was doing the best she knew how to raise them, and prepare them for the real world.
I am a wife. (Which usually sounds more like babe, honey, princess or sparkles.) I am that supportive wife. I am always behind my husband 100%, unless I know for certain he is wrong, then I am beside him, gently guiding him in the right direction. There are so many different types of wife. I am the wife that lets her husband make decisions, but isn't afraid to add her two cents. However, I am the wife who believes that her husband can ultimately make the choice, and I will support that choice. We have a partnership, and I could tell you it's equal, but I don't believe that's how a marriage should be. I'm a little “old school”, and I believe my husband should be the head of the household. I want it that way, and I've chosen that way. Now, don't get me wrong, my husband doesn't have this amazing life with no responsibility other than bringing home the bacon, he has chores, too. And I ride his butt to get them done, but he does support my staying at home, so he does have “get out of jail” passes.
I am a daughter. I love my mamas. (My mom, my mil, and my sons grandma) yup, I am blessed with many great women who inspire me, and are role models for me. They push me to be the best “me” that I can be. I love that I have so many strong women in my life, it's more love I have, and more people to bounce ideas off of. I have a dad and a “pop” also. I guess I am their daughter too, haha. ;) All of the parental figures in my life have given me examples, and life lessons along my path thus far.
I am a friend. Which I have really let go of these last few years. I am finally (after losing all my friends for my babies) putting myself out there, and rebuilding as a social person. This is where I struggle most. Not because I am a bad friend, but because I put my family first in my life, and I rarely find time for my friends. It's a struggle to realize that my family will make it a few hours while I go have “girl time.” I am actively working on pulling myself out of my bubble. (Ill keep you posted on my progress ;))
Lastly, I am a woman. I struggle here more than anything, (yup, you thought my being a hobbit was weird...) I feel guilty taking time for myself. There is always something in my house, or with my husband, or my children that needs to be done. So, naturally, I take care of all those things first. Then, at the end of the day if I have anything left when everyone is asleep, I'll do for myself. My husband pushes me to do for myself, but I can't bring myself to Let to of the responsibilities that stare me in the face.
As women, we feel as if we should have it all. Perfect children, smokin’ hot bods, and beautiful homes. I haven't found the balance of making it all work, but right now, I know I am working towards the healthiest, most centered me I can be.

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