January 14, 2013

Being Honest

So I sit her and think about my blog, I think about it a lot. What's keeping me away? My lack of time management, my own fear of failure, my Lord directing me in other directions? I'm not sure, but I want to take it back, I want my path this year to include my blog, for me.
I read all these amazing mommy blogs where their kids are perfect, their house is adorable (and spotless, regardless of young ins) they show “real” pictures of their kids and those cute faces just seem so... Posed. Perhaps it makes me feel inferior. My kids usually have dried go-gurt on their face, and not for my lacking as a mom, (I bathe them I promise). My kids are little monsters. Fun loving, hyper active, jumping on (or off) the couch little boys. So my house always has the toy of the day strung throughout our modest 1400 sq. feet. Let me tell you, toys make it feel tiny!
I have the normal mom “issues” if you will. I cannot use the restroom alone, I am constantly hearing “mom, mom, mommy” all day long, and just as soon as I put something away, the kids pull it out. But, I have raised dependent little buggers. My 2 year old is constantly at my legs. We are currently in the middle of severe separation anxiety. Like, I cannot go in my room and shut the door without a meltdown. My genius 5 year old spent the first 2.5 years of his life in my lap, being constantly entertained. These last 2.5 years have been hell trying to breed some sort of independence in him. Now, I will say, I am not complaining by any means. I made these two little boys who they are, so I realize I am the responsible party here. I just would like to know where the handbook is to raising kiddos.
These “perfect” blog mamas clearly know of a secret book that tells you how to have it all, and raise self sufficient, intelligent, and dang adorable kids. I just want to know the secret to cleaning my house with a toddler on my leg, or in my arms.
I apologize for coming back to the blogging world with such a lengthy post, but these last few months have been spent evaluating (ok, ok, comparing) myself, and my family. Also, trying to find my niche in this huge world of blog. I am back, and though I cannot promise a specific number of blogs a week, I can guarantee some serious laughs, probably tears, and pictures of messy kiddos loving their life.

(Speaking of funnies, my 2 year old is convinced his name is "Honey Boo Boo Child" after hearing it on GMA!)


Emily said...

Welcome back girl!

Jennifer said...

You'll know when you need to blog. You are a wonderful woman, wife and mother, don't every question that!

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