May 10, 2012

Being a SAHM

Lordy, Lordy, Lordy.
This is a topic that gives me so many mixed emotions. On any given day, my opinion of it can change. (and it frequently fluctuates.) Its a love-hate relationship, this being a Stay At Home Mom thing. But in the very end, when my kids are both in school full time, and when the day comes that I finally get myself an "out of home" job, I know I will miss this.

All too often, people assume that just because I am a SAHM that:
A) I must get bored
B) My husband must make great money
and
C) I have always got to be available to hang out, since I don't have a "real" job and all.

Oh people. GIVE ME A BREAK!!! There are days, that I would kill to go out, and find a job. Just so that I could leave, and talk to real adults for more than 10 minutes. However, I know that right now in my kiddos lives, they need their mama. I get to teach them, nurture them, guide them, play with them, and parent them all day long. (The way I want them to be raised) I know that my little monkeys will have a core set of values and morals that I have instilled in them, and that is priceless.
So here are some of the myths busted wide open for all those who make assumptions of us SAHMS!
My job is anything but clean. In fact, I spend most of my day, yes... alll day long, cleaning up after these 2 little boys. They are messy with their food, toys, clothes, and anything else they can get their grubby little paws on!
They eat crayons, spill drinks, dump out every toy bin, pull every book off the shelf, and bring rocks and sticks and other "boy" objects in from the yard. It is a constant job keeping up with those little ones.
I am most certainly a short order cook. All day, everyday. Both of these boys have HUGE appetites. Growing boys are constantly eating, so I am constantly trying to create new things to eat. They do get tired of grilled cheese and apples!
My husband must make "the big bucks" for me to be able to stay home right? Wrong again. My husband has a good, steady job. It pays the bills, but that's it. We rarely go out to eat, and when we do, its most likely from a gift card one of us received for Christmas! (Gift cards are like gold in our house!) My husband drives a pos. (I say that most lovingly!) A cute little 2 wheel drive Toyota pick up. Oh, did I mention its older than both of us! ;) I have a cute little car, that has a very low payment. It works. Is it my dream car?? Hardly. But it fits my kiddos in it, it has a decent trunk, and it drives with no problems. (Winning!) We sacrifice cable TV, and we just go the Internet at our home 6 months ago. There are not very many luxuries around this neck of the woods!
Oh, you want me to take my kids and go to the mall for the day? Why Cant I, you ask? I guess you don't know, but 10:30 is nap time. Do you want to see one very upset little red head? You know those kids that you don't like in the restaurant, or in the stores that are screaming and should have just been left at home? Yup, those are my kids, if you (after hours of persuading) get me to come out in public. Then I start to sweat, curse myself, (and you) for talking me into this, since it is horribly embarrassing. Those screaming kids SHOULD be left at home, and guess what, I have to stay there with them, since they cant quite watch themselves. Yet. However, you will get angry with me, since I "stay home all day" but can never seem to make time for you. News flash, I don't have time for myself. EVER. Shower in peace and quiet? Oh yeah, I do that... at midnight, when I am run ragged, but have to get the food out of my hair. I cant even pee alone. So, you assume that I can just leave the house whenever I want?? Guess what? Most often, Id rather stay home.

Now, all of this sounds so "negative Nancy".  The truth is, its hard. Trying. Maddening. And I wouldn't trade a single day of it. Those just woke up snuggles, reading books together, watching the boys play nicely with one another (even for just a few minutes) teaching my babies manners, responsibilities, and rules. All of those crazy days at home, every sacrifice we make, every gray hair that pops into my frazzled little head is worth these years of staying home with my kids.

1 comment:

georgia b. said...

AMEN!!

i'm bookmarking this post and forwarding it to anyone who gives me flak! i'm a SAHM by choice, but even if i did not want to be, i'd have to be. the only way we could afford daycare is if i went back to work. and neither my husband or i want that. we have a similar situation to you... the bills get paid. and that's it {with the occasional special treat out}. how funny, too... my hubby also drove a small toyota pick-up. just got recalled, though, and due to economic reasons, we kept the money we got for it to pay off high-interest debt and only have one car now... which means i am home with my son with no car.

but being at home with my son is the best! he's just now getting into everything... so i have what you describe to look forward to... eating crayons and such. OH, i can't wait! {*sarcasm*}. =)

i think you have the right attitude, and it does not sound negative nancy at all!

 
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